What to expect when dating a black man

And as it turned out, I was her kind of guy. One of the first things she told me was how attractive she finds black men. As I mentioned, we were in a gay bar. She had absolutely no ulterior motive and no shot with me. She was just making conversation, and she was doing most of the heavy lifting, so I let her flex her stuff.

Why I Stopped Dating Black American Men | MadameNoire

Actually, I find them more attractive than white people. I also like white men.

I find them beautiful, too. But I just find black people to be better looking. The men are just hotter.

10 Reasons Why You Should Date African Men

She must have read my mind when she made the disclaimer about finding white men attractive, too. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor.


I have no problem with racial preferences. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men.

I mean I was the quintessential Black Woman on her journey to self-rediscovery. Sure, I had developed some great communication skills, learned a lot about compromise and partnership, and even more about realistic partner expectations. And in being realistic about my partner expectations, I had to acknowledge that my dating pool needed a major revamp. I had exclusively dated Black men up to that point, finding commonality in the fact that we were both Black and both American-born, but my perception of marriage and relationships had undoubtedly been shaped by my West African father and my American Baby-Boomer Uncles.

I was expecting the men I was dating to mimic a culture and generation that they had no real relation to. In reality, we have just as much growing and evolving to do as our male counterparts do when it comes to relationships and long-term commitment. Ultimately, I learned that I was.


Dating: 8 Black Men Share Do’s & Don’ts

One day my therapist forced me to make a list of the things I wanted in a husband. And as we reviewed my list, one thing became clear, and that was that I had no business dating Black American men. Initially, I felt bad. Almost like I was turning my back on them if I agreed with these findings.

White Women, Black Men

Surely, I could mold a potential mate into the guy I wanted, right? If I wanted to make it work despite what the evidence stated, I could. The first thing I indicated on my list was that I wanted to marry a man who wanted to be married. Various factors played into this phenomenon which has yet to be identified in any other ethnic group. Whatever we attribute this to, many Black millennial men do not consider marriage to be a personal milestone.

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